As a young girl, I admired my mother so much that I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.
She was a gifted seamstress. When she went to a wedding, she made the perfect outfit. Her dresses looked just like the Spiegel catalog dresses.
I remember wearing look alike dresses. My Mom had style, class and elegance.
She delighted in cooking and serving us the most delicious meals. When she tasted her food, she made yummy sounds. I loved hearing those sounds. I knew how happy she was when she made those yummy sounds.
I totally admired my mom and wanted to be just like her.
In my teen years, I started exploring who I might be if I wasn't trying to be my mom.
Who am I? What do I want for my life? Who do I want to be when I grow up?
I tried on different lifestyles. I tried being a good Jehovah’s Witness like I was raised.
But, It never felt like it was me.
I rebelled and joined my stoner...
Lynetta is quite active in a Facebook group that helps ex-Jehovah's Witnesses rebuild their lives.
Many of the moderators are great at helping ex-JW's release the dogmas they grew up with and deal with the pain of being shunned and having to leave family and friends behind.
But years or decades after leaving the religion, anger is still often detectable in ex-JW's.
There is a gratitude to being free of the dogmas, rules, fears, laws, restrictions. But there is still a sadness and anger often expressed due to 'losing so many years of life'.
For Lynetta, only the Soul-View has fully released all of the anger and sadness and helped her fully reclaim her power.
The Soul-View, which we share in The Foundation Teachings, is the view of life we get when we leave this world and reevaluate our life from the higher perspective of our soul. From this vantage point, we achieve complete peace about everything...
Previously, we shared why we banned "Perfect" from our vocabulary.
Next on our not-helpful-words hit list is "Worthy".
You'll often hear 'worthy' in a lot of affirmations such as: "I am worthy of God's love", "I am worthy of receiving money" and so on.
The reason we don't use worthy anymore is because worthy implies that we have to do something to be worthy.
And, our brilliant minds can always come up with 2 types of reasons why we are NOT worthy. Either I'm not enough such as: "I'm not kind enough, supportive enough, charitable enough". Or, I'm too much of something such as: "I'm too bossy, too controlling, too loud, too opinionated."
Our belief is that our Creator has fully empowered us to create anything we want in our life. We don't have to earn it, deserve it, beg for it, plead for it. We can have it just because we desire it. In short, our creator 'wants' us to create desires...
Lynetta and I went to a restaurant for an after-the-movies snack.
They had lots of pies on the menu. I read a list of the pies to Lynetta and asked what she wanted. Internally, I was praying that she didn't say coconut cream because my intuition was telling me it wouldn't be good.
Sure enough, coconut cream it was!
When we started to eat the pie, we discovered it was not very good.
Now here comes the funny part. Lynetta eventually admitted that she ordered it because she thought I would like it and I agreed to it only because I thought she would like it.
So we both ordered something we didn't want AND turned out not to be good!
Some call this 'people-pleasing'--doing what you think other people want rather than tuning in to what you really want.
For some of us, we had to learn people-pleasing because life was dangerous way back when if we didn't stay on the right side of those who could become violent.
But, now, decades...
As Souls, one of the archetypes we love to play in is the Victim. Everyday we read about people who have been victimized by others.
When we take the Soul-View that we may actually have chosen to be victims (you'll have to ready Journey of Souls to really get this), we can find peace with our victimhood and eventually even find empowerment in it.
But harder than owning our victimhood is to own that we have also been the villain. To put it in the Soul View, we have all been thiefs, rapists, murderers in past lives.
And we may also have done some victimizing of others even in this lifetime. Owning all of this is often called embracing our shadow.
I learned this early in my first marriage. I did not have good relationship tools at the time and had poor examples from my own family growing up.
I remember making agreements with my wife which I didn't keep. When she would call me on it, instead of owning up to my failure...
This part 2 about the "Perfect" problem--what do we do about that voice in our head that constantly nags us about not being good enough, worthy enough--in short--not being perfect.
One answer is to go to the source of the 'problem'--all the way back to the belief that such a thing as perfect even exists.
To do this, let's talk about the Six basic human needs according to Tony Robbins.
One way we can look at ourselves as human beings is that we have certain 'attributes'. Attributes are things like adventurous, timid, outgoing, shy, friendly, loud, persistent, giving, forceful, etc.
All human beings are a collection of different attributes. I may be adventurous, loud, forceful, persistent. You may be soft-spoken, thoughtful, supportive, impatient.
All attributes have their opposite. If I am adventurous, I'm not timid. If I am forceful, I'm not quiet. Graphically, I can illustrate this by putting human attributes on a 'yardstick' with an...
Mark again. One more technique for dealing with someone else's emotional blowups.
By-the-way, I'm assuming here that we are NOT talking about a situation where there is any possibility of real physical danger. If there is, take proper care of your safety.
This technique goes back to the Soul View of people and who we are and why we are here. If you haven't studied these questions yet, take a look at The Foundation Teachings or get Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls from Dr. Michael Newton.
To summarize the Soul View briefly, we all have our Soul Objectives for being in this world. We want to have certain experiences. We may actually want to experience challenging relationships.
To accomplish these Soul Goals, as Souls before we incarnate, we enlist each other to be 'actors' in each other's life play.
This may include treating each other in life in less than the highest ways.
Mark again. More to share about dealing with other people's emotional issues.
It's great to get that someone else's blowup is all about them and some old trauma they are re-experiencing and has nothing to do with you.
Even if they are blaming you for whatever they are upset about, you are still just a 'stand-in' for whoever caused the original upset.
Now, knowing this is great BUT there's still the emotional 'blowback' to deal with.
One technique you may want to try on for these situations is the blast-fence technique.
Blast Fences which are also known as Jet blast Deflectors are commonly found at airports where a public road exists right at the beginning of an aircraft runway. You may have seen them at San Jose airport in California or LaGuardia in New York.
When a jet plane is starting its takeoff, it directs powerful jet exhaust directly to its rear. If there happen to be cars or people on the road right behind it, they can literally get...
Lynetta and I are staying with my mom in LA and she has her challenges.
She gets frazzled when things don't go her way. A minor fender bender, mahjong getting cancelled...
And she voices her irritation.
That by itself is not a problem.
However, I got irritated. Now that IS a problem.
By now I know if I get irritated, it's because there's a story running behind the scenes about what's going on.
My story goes back to childhood and goes like this: "If someone is upset, it could be dangerous for me". This was mostly about my dad who had a violent temper. But if my mom said something about me to him...
So I have this old 'fear story' that when someone else is irritated, it may be dangerous for me.
So what to do when this comes up? For me, it's back to my Avatar training:
Step 1: Remember it's not about you.
When someone is emoting, it's never really about you. It's almost always triggering from our childhoods that hasn't been...
Hi! Mark again.
This is Part #2--our 2nd magical technique for quickly shifting emotional and energetic states.
This is the magic wand of Acknowledgements.
Acknowledgements are when we see and speak out loud our own or someone else's greatness.
Acknowledgments can be a challenge because of our training about being humble, about not 'tooting our own horn'.
There is also a resistance from the ideas that we might become haughty or 'too big for our britches' or worrying about it 'going to our head.
If we want truly wish to live powerful lives, acknowledgements are keys to our empowerment.
So let's get started with acknowledging others since self-acknowledgment is more of a challenge.
There are different levels at which we can acknowledge someone.
One level is to express simple appreciation for something specific they did. For example, I noticed how you spoke kindly to that woman. I noticed how you made my favorite dinner. I noticed how diligently...
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