Mirror, Mirror


Mark here.

At a workshop Lynetta and I attended, one of the facilitators shared: "If you're not in relationship now, get in relationship because it's your best teacher".

Sage advice.

When you're working on yourself, you need mirrors.  We need people who can look at us from the 'outside' and see what's really going on.  We might think we see the 'reality' of the world but really we are all looking out at the world through the lenses of our beliefs.

The proof?  How many times have you seen someone claiming to be stuck in a situation that you could clearly see a solution to?

We may have been taught that a friend is supposed to 'support you' no matter what.

But a real friend is someone who will tell you the truth about what they see, even if you might not want to hear it.

That's a mirror.

And the best mirror of all is a soulmate who is keen to work on themselves and supports you to do your work.

There's no criticism, no making wrong.  Just...

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Lessons from a Pie?

Mark here.

True story.

Lynetta and I went to a restaurant for an after-the-movies snack.

They had lots of pies on the menu.  I read a list of the pies to Lynetta and asked what she wanted.  Internally, I was praying that she didn't say coconut cream because my intuition was telling me it wouldn't be good.

Sure enough, coconut cream it was!

When we started to eat the pie, we discovered it was not very good.

Not here comes the funny part.  Lynetta eventually admitted that she ordered it because she thought I would like it and I agreed to it only because I thought she would like it.

So we both ordered something we didn't want AND turned out not to be good!

Some call this 'people-pleasing'--doing what you think other people want rather than tuning in to what you really want.

For some of us, we had to learn people-pleasing because life was dangerous way back when if we didn't stay on the right side of those who could become violent.

But, now, decades...

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This Much Love?

love and relationships Mar 31, 2018

You would agree that all people want to be loved, yes?

So would I.

Where it gets interesting is when we ask the question "HOW do I FEEL loved?"

The answer isn't as simple as we might think.

In The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman reveals that each of us may have a different way we FEEL loved.  For some of us it is words.  For others it's quality time spent together.  Some feel love through receiving gifts.  Others through acts of service.  And finally, some feel love though physical touch.

Where there is a problem in relationships is when we show our love to our partner through the way WE feel loved.  But if our partner feels loved through a different manner, both the giver and receiver feel unloved and frustrated.

For example, let's say your love language is words and your partner's is service,  If you continually offer praise to your partner when they really want your service (taking out the garbage, working on household...

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Have We Met Before?

love and relationships Mar 19, 2018

Hi!  Lynetta here.

Have you ever met someone who you felt a instant kinship with?  You have this feeling that you already know this person?  These are some of the signs that you are meeting someone from your Soul 'Group'.

There is much we will share about Soul Groups in the future.  Here, we're going to focus on one type of Soul Group relationship you already know about which is a Soul Mate.

A Soul Mate is a soul that you have been intimately involved in in previous incarnations.  You may have decided to have this level of intimate relationship in this life also.  

Here are some of the Signs that You have met your Soul Mate:

1 ) You just know.  It sounds crazy but it's true--you know it in your bones that you are Soul Mates. There is a inner calm together. 

2 ) You are best friends. You really get each other. You feel as though you have met your other half.  Energetically, it can feel like you have attracted your...

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Magic Wand #2: Acknowledgments

Hi!  Mark again.

This is Part #2--our 2nd magical technique for quickly shifting emotional and energetic states.

This is the magic wand of Acknowledgements.

Acknowledgements are when we see and speak out loud our own or someone else's greatness.

Acknowledgments can be a challenge because of our training about being humble, about not 'tooting our own horn'.

There is also a resistance from the ideas that we might become haughty or 'too big for our britches' or worrying about it 'going to our head.

If we want truly wish to live powerful lives, acknowledgements are keys to our empowerment.

So let's get started with acknowledging others since self-acknowledgment is more of a challenge.

There are different levels at which we can acknowledge someone.

One level is to express simple appreciation for something specific they did.  For example, I noticed how you spoke kindly to that woman.  I noticed how you made my favorite dinner.  I noticed how diligently...

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Magic Wand #1: Gratitudes

 

Mark here.

Sometimes when you're feeling down, it can be hard to pull yourself back up.

This is especially true when your mind might be fixating on everything that’s going wrong in your life.  

When this happens, we have two magic wands that can help.

The first magic wand is gratitudes.

Gratitudes are simple, fast and very effective at changing our mental and energetic state.

You can even use gratitudes when you’re in physical or emotional pain.

The key to gratitudes is to not take them too seriously and not spend a lot of time trying to get the 'right' ones.  Instead, just let them just start to roll off your tongue with no thinking at all.

Let's take some examples.

Say you're in physical pain--your foot hurts.  Start off with gratitudes as follows:

Wow, my arms feel great.  It feels wonderful to breathe in clean air.  My chair is quite comfortable.  My clothes are soft and warm.  I'm grateful I have plenty of food to...

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Can a Relationship be THIS good? #1

Mark here.

My relationship with Lynetta is the deepest I have ever experienced.

Just for starters, there is more love, appreciation, joy, support and honoring than I ever thought possible.

It wasn't always this way.  Many previous relationships bombed on multiple levels. 

So what does it take to create and continue growing an extraordinary relationship?

In the next series of emails, we're going to share what we've found from our own experience really works to create incredible love connections.

#1 on our list is letting go of the entire paradigm of good, bad, right and wrong.

This is a tough one being raised in a society where everything is rated as good or bad almost from birth:  "That's good".  "Don't do that--that's bad".

Toss in western religion with a God that judges everything as good or bad and we are off to live a life of duality--seeing everything and everyone through the lenses of right and wrong.

Lynetta and I both studied...

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Are You "Too Damaged"?

love and relationships Mar 15, 2018

Hi, Lynetta here.

We all have "what-ifs" running around our heads.  We may really want to be deeply loved and appreciated for who we are in our totality.  But I've discovered that a "what-if-I'm-too-damaged" story may be blocking us from receiving all the love we can have.

I've been hearing beliefs from women that they don't 'deserve' to be in the relationship of their dreams because they may be too damaged by past traumas and unhealed hurts.

True confession: I also had a 'too-damaged' story in my past. 

When I met Mark, I needed to know if he could truly accept all of me.

The first time I looked into Marks eyes, I felt his gaze as-if he were entering inside me.  I could feel all the doors within me open, even the ones I had kept locked from my own awareness because I had a hard time accepting all of me. 

I could feel him looking around inside all my hidden dark places and embracing it  all.  His eyes were pools of...

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