Gratitude in Relationships
Oct 28, 2019
Gratitudes can cause an immediate shift from low energetic states like sadness or hurt to greater happiness and joy.
That's why we designed Week 1 of The Soulmate Kit to start with gratitude practices.
We have much experience from being in relationships that did not work. From these, we learned what does work.
In the past, I experienced relationships with people who had similar patterns to my family's dynamics.
After many years of listening to my complaining about my relationships, a friend asked me "What is the common denominator in your miserable relationships?"
Shift!--I was the common denominator. No matter who I am with, I am the one pointing the finger! I'm playing the "blame game".
So how do you get out of playing the "blame game"? Use Gratitude.
Let's look at some examples:
Blame Game: If not for you, I would have my dream home.
Gratitude Game: I love the home we have. Thank you honey for working so hard to make our home beautiful.
Blame Game: Why can’t you make more money? If we had more money, I would be happy!
Gratitude Game: I appreciate how we partner together to find workability in our finances.
Blame is part of the victim game. In real Soulmate-level relationships, there are no victims. Each person takes full responsibility for their own happiness. Using gratitude, you begin to see your relationship through the lens of deep love and appreciation.
Wrap your relationship in appreciation and your heart bank accounts will accrue untold wealth.
A journey around the world for Gratitude Insights:
Apache Prayer:
"Looking behind, I am filled with GRATITUDE.
Looking forward, I am filled with VISION.
Looking upward, I am filled with STRENGTH.
Looking within, I discover PEACE."
Whether you're in relationship now or not, let’s take a look at your past relationship heartbreaks.
Your Sacred Experience:
Gather up every regret, disappointment and sorrow that you experienced from past heartbreaks and energetically place them into a pillow. Take your time with this. When your pillow is stuffed and overflowing with all of your regrets, disappointment and sorrow say to it:
“I am so sorry I misunderstood you. I was only seeing the negative in what happened. Now I see it from all sides. I understand. I have compassion. Please forgive me for not seeing your value in my life. I did not know that there is no real bad or wrong. There is only what I want and don’t want going forward.“
Embrace your pillow as you would embrace a long-lost-love. Feel deep Gratitude and Appreciation for all of it!
Take 5 minutes in silence and feel the peace that comes from this experiment. When you're done, write down any insights that come to you.
Next on our journey is a Sanskrit Gratitude practice, the chanting of Dhanya Vad which translates as "I feel gratitude".
“When I'm grateful, I find grace. By looking for the blessings in my life, I open up a space of
light in every experience; I open up the path for grace to flow. I make room in the middle of everything for gratitude.”
~ Jennifer Williamson
Your Sacred Experience:
Chant Dhanya Vad the moment you awaken and before you go to sleep. The Sanskrit language is ancient, holding a vibrational quality that raises your consciousness.
After you chant for 5 minutes, tune inward and feel the vibration in your body.
Take your right hand and place it on the top of your head and shower grace into your body. Experience the flow of grace and gratitude with every inhale, exhale in sweet relief.
After you experience grace and gratitude from this mantra, what new insights come to you about gratitude?
Lao Tsu:
“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realise there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
Your Sacred Experience:
Take some time to meditate on this quote by Lao Tsu. Allow every thought that comes into your mind to be filtered by Rejoicing in the way it is, exactly as it is. After your meditation, journal your insights.
Sufi:
Wear Gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life ~ Rumi
Your Sacred Experience:
Take your favorite blanket and lay it out in front of you. Gather up all the Gratitude that you can muster and place it energetically into your blanket. Wrap yourself head to toe nice and snug as a bug in a rug!
Feel what it’s like in your whole body to be wrapped in a cloak of Gratitude.
Wrap all your past relationship wounds in a blanket of gratitude. If you did not have that experience with your ex, you would not know what you want and don’t want in your future relationships. Each ending brought a new beginning of possibilities for the next relationship.
Kabbalah Centre:
“Imagine a world in which every person would simply get up in the morning and say, ‘Wow, I have eyes to see and hands to feel! Thank You, God!’ Then just imagine how the positive energy that ripples outwards from each individual with this kind of consciousness will eventually alter the mass consciousness.”
~ Karen Berg- Founder, Kabbalah Centre
Your Sacred Experience:
Tomorrow morning when you rise say: Thank you Universe ( or whatever name you choose) that I have eyes to see, hands to feel and a mouth to taste delicious foods!
Thank you for everything I learned from my past relationships!
Hebrew:
In modern Hebrew, the most common way to say “thank you” is todah rabah, “great thanks,” which can be shortened to just todah!
When I heard this word Todah! I was delighted that it has a double meaning. As a magician you say Ta-da! That’s really close to saying Todah in Hebrew.
"Ta-da!" is the sound that a magician traditionally makes when he does a magic trick, like pulling a rabbit out of his hat. In modern days, people say this when they reveal a surprise, especially a happy surprise. For example, if you get dressed up really nicely, you can say "Ta-da!"—Phrase Mix
Remember that every past heartbreak is a teacher. Every past heartache is Todah Rabah, or Ta-da! You now have a refined list of what you do want in a future relationship and that is a huge gift!
Did you enjoy your trip around the world of Gratitude?
Did you find a jewel to keep?
Write down 5 new practices that you can incorporate in your life that nurtures your appreciation for your past relationships and your current ones.
I am so Grateful to you! Without you all of what I share would go unseen. Thank you for being here with me on this Soul-Full-Adventure!
Deepest Gratitude,
Lynetta Ann Avery & Mark Siedler
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