Are You Too Nice?

emotional release Mar 08, 2018

 

Here are 3 Signs you may be 'too' nice and what to do about it:

Sign #1: You find yourself saying "I'm sorry" a lot.   If you bump into someone accidentally, 'Sorry' or 'Excuse Me' is appropriate.  But if you're a frequent user of 'Sorry', you may be taking excessive responsibility for others' emotional states.

What to do?   Wean yourself.  Take sorry completely out of your vocabulary for a week and see how it feels.  Even if you bump into someone you could say something amusingly opposite: "Thank you.  What a pleasure running into you!" 

Sign #2: 'Too Nicers' attract 'users'.  Users love to use you to meet their needs but are lacking in providing for your needs.  You may 'bend-over-backwards' to meet their needs but when you're in need, they run for the hills!

Does your family call you when they need something and they don't seem to return the favor?  Do you attract men/women into your life that have plenty of requests for you?  Do you ask for a favor and find that they are rushing out the door and don't have time to even listen to your request? 

What to do?  Set boundaries.  Try the following for a week:

Let people know you are not available for requests.  Share with them you are doing a week of intense self-care.  Tell them you will be practicing saying "NO" all week to others' requests.

When you say NO to others, you are saying YES to yourself.  This will reset your automatic "YES" button.

Sign #3:  Do you feel resentful after saying yes?  Do you find yourself angry while complying to constant requests?  Does YES just pop out of your mouth?

What to do?  Take time before you answer.  Let them know you need more time to think about it. If it's not time sensitive and it's a big favor, take a couple of days. If you need to respond immediately, let them know that you do not make decisions without time to think about it. 

This can be a challenge if it's a deeply held pattern of yours.

Try these practices for a week.  If you find you're still a YES-Man or YES-Woman, we can help you through the process.

We can quickly pinpoint the source of your 'excessive niceness' and share additional tools to remedy it. 

Get a taste now for the ease at making this lifelong change.

For a limited time, we are offering a 20 minute quick-clearing-session for $25.

We know what it's like to live your life only for others and not take care of yourself. We have mastered the art of boundaries, having our YES and NO and making requests. 

We would love to support you to have a fully empowered life. 

Being nice is a drag.  Being fully empowered--that's a good life! 

Warmly Sent,

Mark and Lynetta 

 P.S.  This is the only time you should automatically say YES! ;-)

Schedule now: 20 Min Quick Clearing Session

 

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