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Blessings,
Mark and Lynetta
HOW do I FEEL loved? The answer isn't as simple as we might think.
In The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman reveals that each of us may have a different way we FEEL loved. For some of us it is words. For others it's quality time spent together. Some feel love through receiving gifts. Others through acts of service. And finally, some feel love though physical touch.
Where there is a problem in relationships is when we show our love to our partner through the way WE feel loved. But if our partner feels loved through a different manner, both the giver and receiver feel unloved and frustrated.
For example, let's say your love language is words and your partner's is service, If you continually offer praise to your partner when they really want your service (taking out the garbage, working on household projects, etc.), then you will both be frustrated.
Real love may be giving to your partner in the way they feel loved, even if it's not the way you want to feel loved.
As Souls, one of the archetypes we love to play in is the Victim. Everyday we read about people who have been victimized by others.
When we take the Soul-View that we may actually have chosen to be victims (you'll have to ready Journey of Souls to really get this), we can find peace with our victimhood and eventually even find empowerment in it.
But harder than owning our victimhood is to own that we have also been the villain. To put it in the Soul View, we have all been thiefs, rapists, murderers in past lives.
And we have all done some victimizing of others even in this lifetime. Owning all of this is often called embracing our shadow.
One of the classic books on this is The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford:
These Videos are highly recommended:
Healing Your Inner Child
Validation: A cute short movie on the miracle of acknowledgements
The BEST example of why we want to Embracing our 'Dark' Side instead of trying to control, repress or get rid of it
Another great short movie about why we want to integrate our past pain instead of dumping it.
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